It’s been over a month since the last time I took a few minutes to share the most absurd Google searches that people used to find my website (Readers’ Expectations 3 on May 7th). Now that enough bizarre key words have washed up, it’s time to check them out.
“how to photograph the Hollywood sign”- Well, first you get a camera. Then you go to Hollywood and stand in front of the sign. Press the correct button on the camera. Bam. You’re done.
“false witness memories”- Is it easy or is it difficult to remember memories that don’t exist?
“Jon Lovitz in drag”- That’s the ticket!
“women defecating”- I don’t know which is worse: The fact that some sick guy out there wants to see a woman doing “#2” or that somehow what I’ve written about something that in some jumbled sense, comes out similar to what he was looking for.
“brian winkles fort payne”- Brian Winkles was one of my best friends growing up. I’ve referenced him a few times in my writings. Either he Googled his own name or… looks like somebody’s got a secret admirer… woo-ooo…
“nick shell sugar”- I feel proud of that fact my discovery that consuming one tablespoon of sugar is equal to smoking one cigarette is becoming a world renown, sought after article: healthnutshell: A Tablespoon of Sugar or a Cigarette? Oh, and… That’s “Doctor” Nick Shell to you…“a pickle driving car”- Yeah, that’s cool. A lot of people out there are looking to learn about that these days. Also popular, “a pickle directing traffic”.
“women on adrenaline urban legend”- Did you know that one time, there were these women, and they got all hyped on adrenaline, and oh boy, you’ll never believe what happened…
“famous painting”- Oh… That famous painting… Yeah! I love that famous painting! It’s hanging up on my wall. Interesting, sounds like we’ve got a lot in common- you and me. And the famous painting.