Typically, I publish a new post from the Readers’ Expectations series about once a month, after I’ve collected a handful of absurd searches people typed into Google to find Scenic Route Snapshots. But within the past week, I’ve already met my quota. So after only a week since the fifth installment, here’s #6:
“smoking Muppets mccarthy”- The only way I could see this happening is in a public service announcement with the McCarthy dummy smoking a cigar next to Kermit the Frog who has a worried look on his face, caption reads: “If you smoke, I’ll croak!”
“why saunas are awkward”- You know, I can’t really see how a public sauna could be awkward, other than the fact that only a loosely wrapped towel around your waist is the only thing keeping complete strangers from seeing your Netherlands, and keeping you from seeing theirs.
“why it’s so hard to meet single women”- A few clues: Stars Wars t-shirt tucked into black sweatpants, neon slap bracelet, Aviator glasses, horrible mustache, Doritos-stained fingertips.
“legal personalities”- It’s so hard today to live in a society where so many personalities are currently outlawed. Like “outgoing”, “positive”, “friendly”, and “optimistic”. Things have never been the since ever since the Soviets took over. I mean…what I meant to say was… Communism is the only way!
“my public dreams”- The only way to outdo a reality show these days is to publicly display a person’s dreams on national television. Participants are hooked up to a special device that broadcasts their dreams for everyone to see on a giant monitor, including the The Naked in Public Dream. From James Cameron, director of Avatar, coming this Fall on Fox: “Your Worst Nightmare”.
“Seinfeld Scottish”- Growing up in a hometown that officially had no Jewish households, I clearly understood that Jerry Seinfeld is Jewish, not Scottish. I’m trying to imagine Jerry Seinfeld in a kilt, playing the bagpipes, saying, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that, brothah…”