Ali Fedotowsky the Bachelorette: Episode 4- Kasey Gets a Tattoo

 Someone needs to guard and protect my heart from this show.

Ali Tally:

“guard and protect your heart” 12

“burn mark” 7

“fairy tale” 1

“right reasons” 1


Profound Quotes:

“Not a unicorn kind of love.” –Chris L. referring to what kind of romance Ali is looking for

“The gorilla said you’re cute.” –Kasey to Ali, after doing a really creepy impression of a gorilla

“It’s just my heart.  Jump in and stay a while.” –Kasey to Ali

“I’m gonna nail this audition!” –Jonathan the Weatherman referring to his Lion King try-out, right before the camera zoomed in on his butt in tight black bicycle shorts

“It’s like a beehive of knives in your face.” –Jonathan the Weatherman referring to having to watch Roberto and Ali practice for their entangled role in The Lion King

“I’m an idiot.” –Jonathan the Weatherman, calling it like it is

“Call me crazy, but I bet it will be you and me in the end.” –Crazy Craig to Ali

“I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve, literally.” –Kasey, pointing out the obvious

“He’s a fibber.” -Justin referring to Kasey

“I don’t like liars in the house.” –same thing

“We only need one more to play guitar in this house.” -Kirk referring to our discovery that Jonathan the Weatherman also sings and plays guitar

Noteworthy Highlights:

The second helicopter of the season was featured when Kasey equates Ali to a caterpillar in a cocoon.  Once they land, Kasey introduces to Ali and the world his amazing ability to make up songs on the spot in order to swoon women, as learned when he sang his all-original destined-to-become-a-hit, “Not Your Average Joe.”  Followed by Ali laughing, thinking it was a joke.  Followed by the sounds of seagulls as the sun was setting behind them.

For the first time ever since I’ve watched the show, when one contestant asked another if he could interrupt (to steal the bachelorette away), he was rejected.  This was when Jonathan the Weatherman was rejected by Crazy Craig, who told him, “come back in a few minutes.”

With a few clues leading up to it, like Ty saying, “I just don’t want him to do something he’ll regret”, Kasey gets a tattoo.  A tattoo of a shield protecting a heart, on his wrist.  The shield included eleven stones to represent the eleven remaining bachelors, because, “you are all diamonds in my heart… even you, Justin”. 

It’s moments like that where all I can really say is, “Thank you reality TV!”

Who Ali’s Taking to Iceland:

Chris L., Kirk, Frank, Craig, Chris N.*, Roberto, Justin (who Ali called out for looking surprised), Ty, and of course, Kasey (because we have to see Ali’s reaction to the tattoo)

Who Ali Sent Packing:

Jonathan the Weatherman (so soon?) and Jesse, whom Ali told, “I just didn’t think we really matched up,” yet she spent no time with him this week, only last week, so she should have just sent him home last week, but in this show, thinking rationally is a foreign concept

*Chris N.

Oh boy, we gotta talk about this guy!  Chris N.  Most of us, when we saw Ali pick him in the most recent Rose Ceremony, we said out loud, “Who’s that guy?!”  Chris N.  He’s only had like two speaking lines in throughout all four of the episodes.  He has never spent any one-on-one time with Ali, except for his creepy bedroom shot with Ali in the Barenaked Ladies “music video”.  He sorta has a mullet.  The camera zooms in on his face a lot during the Rose Ceremonies.  And he’s freakin’ going to Iceland!  Seriously, who is Chris N.?

My only explanation:  Chris N. is this season’s Jessie Sulidis (from last season with Jake Pavelka).  Simply a mysterious little treat to save for a rainy day.  No chance of making it into the Top 4.

Want more?  You can read my friend Ben Wilder’s recap:

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